Emoticons - What they really mean. A guide for the clueless (maybe including me...)

:-) Smiley Face: The mother of all emoticons. It's the oldest, the most tired and certainly the most used, but this happy face isn't going anywhere. Use it to dull the edge of your sarcasm or just let people know you're A-OK!

;-) The Wink: Oh, you sneaky devil. Although this looks very similar to the smiley face, it's actually loaded with meaning and innuendo. That means you probably shouldn't use it with your mom or your poker buddies.

:-P Sticking out tongue: No, this is not sexual. It means that you or someone else is being silly. Use sparingly; it's kind of lame.

:-D Laugh: Hmmm... a laughing emoticon. Wonder what that means? Seriously though, use this guy to take some pressure off your LOLs. They can really get old after a while.

:-$ Money mouth: Nobody knows what this one means. When you talk, does money spill out? Are your words worth their weight in collectible coins? Or, are you flashing some virtual gold teeth? My money is on leaving this one alone.

:-( Frown: Aw... you're sad. Use this emoticon to wield your sorrow like a passive-aggressive switchblade. Or, if you're the one who's ruining the plan, just throw it out there to prep him/her for the bad news.

:'( Cry: Well, if you're actually crying over an IM, then you either have emotional problems or you're a cowardly relationship-breaker-offer. But barring that, the crying face is mostly used as a funny way to say that you were hoping for a different answer. However deep that tear goes, only you will know.

Top Three Things To Remember About Emoticons:

1. Guys shouldn't send other guys emoticons. Unless they like the other guy. A lot.

2. No emoticons until you've met the person face to face or at least sent a picture. Unless of course, your face actually resembles a semicolon.

3. Never use the "cool" emoticon (i.e., the one with the sunglasses). It's the virtual equivalent of a fanny pack.




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