I remember during my school days, when Orchard Road was such a "posh" place to be. All those buildings gleamed in the sun, while retail staffs are always attentive and carry a smile on their face. I would take a bus from my neighborhood and alight at Far East Plaza, where all the ah bengs (read: lanjiao beng) and ah lians (read: chee-bye lian) - I'd call them fucktards, 'cos they deserved to be called that anyway -would gather and act like they were supermodels, pretending to smoke their cigarettes when they don't even know how to. And just further down would be CK Tangs, where I would go down the escalator located behind the bus-stop to go over to Wisma Atria. While along the underpass, there used to be this blind man who would play popular songs on his electronic keyboard while trying to earn a living. It wasn't that bad honestly.

Although he sang out of tune, nobody complained. In fact, everyone understood his plight and would drop money into his "donation" box every now and then. And after the end of the underpass would be the lobby for the Orchard MRT station, where Wisma Atria is located just a few steps away. Yes, Wisma Atria is always crowded, but with shoppers mingling at the shops and human traffic was bearable. Walk straight along and you'll find yourself at Takashimaya Shopping Centre where there are even more shoppers. But more on the look-and-see variety, looking at the various shops and seeing if there's any discounts going on. That was the Orchard Road I remembered during my school days.

Compare that to the Orchard Road today.

Far East Plaza are still festering with even more ah bengs (read: lanjiao beng) and ah lians (read: chee-bye lian), who are still desperately trying to pretend to be supermodels but fail so terribly and miserably (Darlings, you lot are better suited to hang around void decks than to mar the image of Orchard Road, get it?) that I wanted to bury them alive for trying to. And further down would be CK Tangs where the floor tiles in front of CK Tangs sometimes decide to 'play punk' on unsuspecting female shoppers by making them trip. (Yes, CK Tangs have become a scary place to walk, due to the tiles.) And just before I can go down that damn escalator that is located behind the bus-stop, my hearing must be tested by these stupid, loud and blasphemous road-show(s) that chose to have a road-show just right in front of CK Tangs. Never mind, just go down the escalator to get to Wisma Atria.

Oops, the blind man playing his electronic keyboard is no longer there. In his place are various buskers trying to out-perform each other by turning up the volume of their freaking amplifier. Never mind, I have my MP3 player to keep out the noise that used to be music. And right after the underpass, at the Orchard MRT station lobby, just before Wisma Atria, there would definitely be all these Bangladeshi construction workers or some In**** (in case I get sued under the Semitic Law in Singapore, this particular race will have to be asterisked to protect myself) men would purposely block traffic by pretending to be oblivious to the traffic and talking right there and then. Yes, fuckers, good job at being a nuisance to everyone. Fine! I weave in and out of the crowd just to get to Wisma Atria's entrance and suddenly find myself somewhat blocked at the entrance.

You see, there are construction work going on. Which means I have to walk on the pavement, right next to the road. Never mind, I can deal with it. If the crowd gets too obnoxious, I'll just start my chain cigarette smoking to clear myself a BIG PATH to walk on. Everything went according to what I planned and just as I am closing in towards Takashimaya, I heard horrendous music blaring, voices trying to out-talk and out-shout each other into the microphones and those pesky people with fliers all rushed up to me like starving children and started thrusting their goddamn fliers into my hands. What do I do? I simply shoved both my hands into the pockets of my jackets just to avoid having the slightest chance to hold on to a piece of flier advertisement. There's a good reason for this. Just being these fliers-people a.k.a "starving-children-wannabe" is a rubbish bin that is so chocked full with their own bloody fliers that all the rubbish are dropping out of the bins and piling on the floor right next to it. So, instead of contributing to the mess that is already in existence, I chose not to by not taking a single piece of freaking flier that comes my way (or rather, my face, my arms, my chest, okay that's enough of flier shoving, you assholes!)

Looking at the chaos just in front of Takashimaya Shopping Centre, I think I should just abandon the thought of that particular stretch of road and go towards HMV Heeren opposite. And as soon as I crossed the traffic lights to go over to HMV Heeren, happily anticipating the cool air-conditioning and music CDs that would welcomed me with open arms and soothe my annoyance, I realized I had made a wrong choice that I found out too late. Just somewhere in front of HMV Heeren is another road-show for credit cards. Yes, those type which hire an outdoor guest noise-polluter, who speaks into the microphone thinking that he or she is some famous host akin to Ryan Seacrest when in fact no sane person gave them a glance at all. Seriously, do these people need to breathe at all? They speak so fast into the microphone that I really wonder if they are robots in the first place? Fine, just walk past those brainless talkers a.k.a noise polluters and into HMV Heeren and all would be safe, I supposed?

Wrong! Right when I stepped into HMV Heeren, I am suddenly bombarded with more humans giving out fliers. Aargghhhhh!! Forget about that damn CD. I'm going home. NOW!!!