Prepare yourself, I'm about to get some things off of my chest that have been boiling up, until now.

It really stings to know you miss someone and they're never coming back. They're lost, gone, and too far away. You care for someone a hell of a lot and you cover up your hurt feelings with "I hate you, I hate him, What a douchebag." Its virtually impossible to love someone like family one day and loathe them the next day. What really really stings is the fact that this alleged person whom you considered as friend and buddy doesn't care. Its been more than a month since we've last spoken and all he can say is that "U step on me...or...U'll suffer slowly..." I'm never going to be friends with him again because I won't. I can't bring myself to do this for the umpteenth time. I would like to be on okay terms, I guess. It would let me stop pretending and playing stupid games. When I say things like "If only...", it is really just me fucking hoping.

But no way, no how am I making some sort of first effort. Hell to the fuck no. I was the good friend, I was the one who's feelings were hurt, I was the one who was left in the dust so that he could look and seem almighty of course.

What power does he have over other people? Its ridiculous, malicious, conniving, attention-whoring, fucking I don't even know, disgusting. All he does is lie to people and convince them of things. Your "best friend," right? He made use of others. But, that sad things is, they're EXACTLY alike. I honestly can't think of one action he has made that has had any, and I do mean ANY, good intentions behind it. He mocked me and the people I truly loved and cared and respected over the freaking internet because he's that retarded.

In this time frame of mutual anger between the parties, he befriended almost everyone is the event that he can claim to be innocent till the very end. He makes me so angry that I can't formulate it into words. The best I can come up with is scum of the earth. I looked on a particular blog and what I found made me so enraged and heartbroken I didn't know what to do. He wants so much attention that he's starting to tell lies.

Might I dare mention, he's so immature and unimportant yet.. he's still there. Which makes me sound like a some sort of murderer but .. I'm not.

I'm just really angry right now. Especially when I saw those posts, for the umpteenth time. I didn't even realize what it was the first time.

I just wish I could meet a handful of people with a good head on their shoulders and that have good intentions. I mean, is that too much to ask?